Bending the Third Rail
Because We Should, We Can, We Do
Friday, December 08, 2006
Should Be Left Behind
Spencer Akerman reads, and reviews, the first of the "Left Behind" books so you don't have to:
I'm waiting for callbacks from both the 1st and 4th Infantry Divisions right now, and I took the opportunity to finish reading the worst and most repugnant novel ever to have sullied my eyeballs: the first in the Left Behind series.

If ever you should think that millions of people couldn't all be wrong about a piece of fiction for so many years, let this awful thing stand as irrefutable counterexample. Leave aside for one second the hideous plot. The series' two authors, Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins, mangle the language in a way I haven't seen since high school. At one point they employ the image of a juggernaut sailing across the waters. You tell me what that's supposed to mean.


The novel's enemies are familiar. Perfidious Europe. The secular and venal national media. The United Nations. The Jew. There's even Catholic-bashing of the ancient vintage: the unraptured President of the United States is an earthy lout named Gerry "Fitz" Fitzhugh. The Jew is my favorite enemy, of course. Israeli Dr. Chaim Rosenzweig creates a formula to make the desert bloom (thanks for that Ben-Gurion reference, assholes) and uses his resulting prestige to usher the Antichrist onto the world stage.
Go read the whole thing. You may find out that you too are despicable.
Anonymous Anonymous said...
Here's a pretty good overview of LaHaye's good works ...